Friends With Benefits
by MaggieNY
Summary: Bella's overprotective best friend Edward offers to be her friend with benefits as an alternative to her lifestyle. Bella accepts this arrangement, but what happens when she finds herself wanting more? This is Bella's story. -Rated M for Lemons-
1. Chapter 1

_ "Too late we learn, a man must hold his friend  
Unjudged, accepted, trusted to the end." _  
_ - John Boyle O'Reilly _

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_"Oh God, yes baby, just like that," groaned the voice below me. I gripped his muscular shoulders for leverage as I bounced up and down on his hard length. I could feel beads of sweat trickling down my chest as the hot air enveloped us both. We were surrounded in complete darkness except for a faint light shining from a lamp on his dresser._

_"Jake...I'm almost there," I whispered quickly to my newest bed mate. At least I think his name was Jake. Or was it James? No, I'm sure it was Jacob. Whoever it was sure didn't seem to mind what I called him. It probably helped that we were both intoxicated and he was getting laid. I could have called him Bubba for all he cared._

I met Jake at the grand opening of the newest club in our town "The Pink Monkey." My best friends and I were out celebrating Edward's big promotion to Vice President of Volterra Advertising. It wasn't every day that all six of us had the chance to hang out together because we all had busy schedules. When we did get together, we did it up big. Of course, Edward had his connections.

Edward was my closest friend and I considered him to be the brother I never had. Perhaps if he weren't so drop dead gorgeous people would actually believe we were siblings. We were practically joined at the hip starting from the very tender age of six years old. We became neighbors when my flighty mother Renee decided marriage with my father Charlie was suffocating and void of passion. After meeting a baseball player at a game and in her words "falling in love at first sight" she said sayonara to Charlie and we moved to Phoenix with her rich baseball player boyfriend, Phil Jenkins.

Phoenix was a big change from our small home in Forks. With Phil's salary we managed to move into a large house in a very affluent neighborhood, right next door to the Cullens.

It was on moving day that I first met the Cullens. Esme Cullen rang our doorbell and greeted us with a beautiful smile and a Welcome to the Neighborhood chocolate cake. She wasn't alone and had her two children with her, Edward and Rosalie. Her husband Carlisle happened to be busy working at Phoenix Medical Center and couldn't join her.

Renee and Esme clicked immediately and I was left to play on the stoop with Rosalie and Edward. Even at age six I found the both of them to be striking. Rosalie had long blond ringlets, big blue eyes, a pink dress and those frilly socks I would yell at Renee for forcing me into when she wanted to dress me up. She was a year older than me. Edward was a different story, he was my age and had beautiful bronze hair, which he must have gotten from his mother and the most hypnotizing green eyes I had ever seen. He was wearing a blue shirt with bugs bunny on it and blue jeans ruined with grass stains on the knees. I happened to be adorned in my favorite rugged black jeans that Renee hated and tried to throw away more than once, a large faded gray shirt and Phil's old baseball cap, which was way too big, was on my head and worn backwards. I was the epitome of a tomboy.

"How come you dress like a boy?" Rosalie asked with a look of disgust on her face.

"Because I want to," I retorted back to the princess.

"Leave her alone, Rosalie." The beautiful green eyed boy spoke up for the first time. "Or I'll tell mom!"

"But she's a girl!" she exclaimed.

"And you're a booger," he said matter-of-factly. We both doubled over in laughter. I liked this kid already.

Rosalie sneered at us both and stormed into the house most likely to tell on both of us.

"I live right there." The beautiful boy pointed to their house next door. "You could come over and play with me and my friend Jasper if you want."

"OK," I offered him a shy smile and he responded with a crooked grin in return.

From that day on, I'd find myself at the Cullens' house playing tag, football and baseball with Edward and his friends in their big yard. Rosalie would often try to steal me away to play dolls or dress up, but I would always find myself returning to the yard, playing roughly with the boys.

As we grew older, our friendship continued to change and we grew closer. When I was ten and Renee and Phil had their heated arguments, I would climb through Edward's window which was across from mine and sleep in his bed with him. I would be on the verge of tears but Edward would wrap both of us in his blanket and tell me everything would be okay.

I reciprocated when Edward would have those dreadful clown nightmares that only I knew about.

On those nights I would hear someone falling through my window. He wouldn't say anything, but I knew. The clowns were after him again. I'd lift my blanket and he would climb in while I ran my fingers through his bronze locks. He would immediately fall asleep.

Our bond was like no other. Rosalie was my best friend too, but my friendship with Edward was stronger. All three of us ended up going to Chicago State University. Edward studied Communication Arts with a minor in music and I majored in English Literature.

Edward was well known throughout our college years. The professors adored him and the girls flocked to him like a swarm of bees. I didn't blame them at all. Edward could have had a great career as a model if he wanted to. Many girls would often slip me their number to give to him since we were so close and they didn't see me as threat.

Why would they? I didn't consider myself an obvious beauty and our relationship couldn't be mistaken as more than friends. I've never held any romantic feelings toward Edward, although, I could see why the girls loved him. Edward was like a brother to me and I'm sure he felt the same way about me.

Six years later and with hard work and persistence, Edward climbed the ladder at Volterra Advertising and became Vice President at twenty-four years old. This was no surprise. Edward was a very intelligent man and his personality was contagious. He had the ability to capture everyone's attention and it also helped that he wasn't bad to look at either.

Edward called me immediately after he found out and I was so proud of him. I demanded we do drinks that night with four of our closest friends, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice & Jasper. At least that's how it was supposed to be until Edward invited his on and off again girlfriend Jessica without giving us any notice.

I couldn't stand her and wondered what Edward saw in her. She was loud, obnoxious and wore way too much makeup. She spent the evening on Edward's lap in a tight pink dress that left little to the imagination. I did my best to ignore her most of the night and focus on why we were there, but it was very difficult watching her take Edward's attention any way she could get it.

We all danced the night away, my friends in their own pairs, while I managed to meet Jacob on the dance floor. He was tall and built with long black hair and tan skin.

"And what is a beautiful girl like you doing dancing alone?" he asked.

"I'm not alone anymore," I said with a smirk. We spent the rest of the evening on the dance floor. I looked over his shoulder and saw Edward pinning Jessica against the wall in a lip lock. _Gross._

Six drinks later, Jake was pulling me into his jeep and I was whisked away. I knew I should have told my friends goodbye but I'm sure they didn't notice, and hell, I was a grown woman, I had needs too.

_My thoughts were interrupted as I was instantly flipped on my back and met with several hard thrusts. I could tell he was almost finished as he quickened his pace and I felt his muscles tense. That familiar feeling in my stomach made itself known and I knew I was close._

_I wrapped my arms around his neck as he plowed into me._

_"Oh Jake!" I felt melt myself tighten around him as he rubbed my bundle of nerves. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the most intense orgasm take over my body. Jacob growled as he came inside of me after two more thrusts collapsing on top of me._

_We were both gasping for air by this time._

_"That was amazing," he managed to breathe out.  
_

_"Mmhmm," I mumbled sleepily._

_He slipped from inside me and wrapped me in his arms as we both turned in for the night._

This was the life I thought to myself. My lifestyle was definitely a shock to those who knew me. I was a junior high school English teacher by day and a sex prowler by night, it seemed. I enjoyed sex. It brought me pleasure and made me feel wanted and powerful. My friends didn't exactly agree with my lifestyle, especially Edward. I held his opinion in the highest regard but not when it came to this. Edward could be overbearing, overprotective and controlling when it came to me. If he weren't so busy lip locking with Jessica at the club, I'm sure I wouldn't have made it out the door with Jake. I didn't see what the big deal was. I was a grown woman and I was being responsible when it came to my sex life.

"It's just not right, Bella." Edward would chastise. "You deserve better."

I hated the look in his eyes when he told me that. I felt so small. But he didn't understand. He would never understand.

Of course our other friends would add their two cents in occasionally. Fortunately, Alice and Rosalie learned to butt out after I told them how responsible I was being and explained the double standard when it came to women having sex and being looked down upon while men were praised.

I released myself from Jacob's embrace to retrieve my purse from his nightstand. I dug for my phone and sighed at the screen. Seven missed calls from Edward and two from Alice and Rosalie. Yep, I wouldn't hear the end of it tomorrow. Edward would be throwing his usual temper tantrum.

I dropped my phone back in my purse and returned to Jake. His arms immediately sought me out and once again I felt at home. My previous wariness disappeared quickly. They would never understand.

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**We will get more information on Bella and Edward's relationship in the next few chapters. If you want to read more, please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I just want to thank those who read the story and reviewed. I was very surprised to get reviews so quickly, unfortunately, I wasn't able to edit the chapter quick enough. So if you want, you can re-read the last chapter. Also, a perk of being unemployed is that I can update faster. However, the quicker I update the shorter the chapters. Enjoy!**

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_"True friendship is never serene." _  
_- Mariede Svign_

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_You have ten new messages. To listen to your first message press 1._

"Bella, where are you?" The smooth melodic voice inquired over the loud music in the background. "Meet me by the bar when you get this message."

_To replay this message press 1, to listen to your next message press— _My anxious fingers interrupted the operator.

"Alice just told me she saw you talking to a guy, are you still here?" The smooth melodic voice was getting antsy now.

_To replay this message press 1, to listen to the next message press-_

"Hey Bella, its Alice where are you, did you leave with that guy?" her voice shrieked over the loud voices in the club. "I swear if you left without letting us know, you are going to get it!"

I gulped. Alice may be small, but she could be frightening at times. Even Emmett knew not to step on her toes.

"Besides Edward looks pissed call me," she continued. I moved on to the next message.

"Hey Bella," Rosalie's voice recorded. "Move you big Oaf!" she yelled, most likely berating Emmett. "Where the hell are you?"

_To replay this message press 1, to listen-  
_

"Bella." His voice was strained now. I could visualize him pinching the bridge of his nose, his green eyes tight with anger, long slender fingers running through his bronze locks.

"Please, just call me back to let me know that you are okay and haven't been kidnapped." He let out a frustrated sigh.

I didn't listen to the five other messages from Edward. I already knew what they would say. I felt horrible. I should have let them know I was leaving. I at least owed my friends in that respect.

I took a cab home from Jake's earlier this morning. He offered to give me a ride home, but I declined. I preferred to have no strings attached when it came to the men I slept with and this sometimes included keeping my residency unknown. I didn't want to get close to them. It was better this way, no one would get hurt. Of course I took his number when he offered it to me. He was definitely someone I wouldn't mind having a repeat performance with.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to avoid the walk of shame when I reached my apartment. My nosy 70-year-old neighbor, Eleanor, looked at me with disdain as I reached my door. I despised the old woman. She lived with her three cats and was the biggest gossip in the building.

"Good Morning, Ms. Eleanor."

She looked me up and down with disapproving eyes, her wig tipped slightly with her movements.

"Morning," she screeched as she locked her door with her big purse in tow.

I winced as she walked by and I was hit with a wrath of her pungent perfume. That woman had some nerve. I thought to myself. I knew I would be the big topic during her bingo game tonight.

I sighed and typed a quick message message to Edward. "I'm fine, you can stop freaking out now."

I also followed up with a message to Alice and Rosalie. "I'm alive."

I yawned and stretched my legs out on my couch. I enjoyed Saturday mornings. They offered me the time to regroup and relax. I looked around my living room and smiled. I loved my apartment. It was small and had an old-world feel to it.

Used and worn books lined my antique bookshelf in the left corner of the living room. On top of the shelf sat a framed college graduation picture of me smiling in between Charlie and Renee. That was a very special day. Charlie came all the way from Forks to Chicago. I thought it would be an awkward day with Charlie seated next to Phil and Renee, but surprisingly all that was forgotten when my parents saw me in my red cap and gown walking across the stage. Next to that picture was another favorite of mine. It was of Edward picking me up and spinning me around in the air after the ceremony. I loved that picture. We had the biggest smiles on our faces. Edward's green eyes twinkled as he looked up at me.

I walked to my small kitchenette to heat up some coffee. The clock read 9:05 a.m. Just as I prepped the shower, I heard my phone vibrating. It was a message from Edward

"I wouldn't freak out if you just told me where you were," the messaged read "Stop by at seven we need to talk."

_We need to talk._ _What could he want to talk about? If he was going to give me another lecture, he better think twice._

"Sure…is everything okay?" I typed out.

I waited for a response. Nothing.

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**Hmm, I wonder what Edward wants to talk about...**

**Leave a review if you want to know what happens next!  
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	3. Chapter 3

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_"What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies." _  
_ - Aristotle _

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_--May 4, 1995--_

"_Okay the coast is clear. Put it in!" Jasper yelled from the living room doorway._

_Edward immediately removed the Aladdin video tape from the VCR and replaced it with the movie "It."_

"_I swear if we get in trouble for this, I'm telling mom it was all your idea," Rosalie threatened. "We shouldn't be doing this."_

"_We're not going to get caught. Lauren is going to be on the phone with her boyfriend all night," I whispered. _

"_She's just scared," Edward teased. "I bet she won't even last the entire movie."_

"_Try me," Rosalie threatened with her arms crossed. They proceeded to stare each other down._

"_Come on guys, can we just get this over with?" I interrupted. "We probably won't have another chance like this again."_

_I was right, this was our only opportunity. There was no way Rosalie and Edward's babysitter, Lauren Mallory, was going to catch us watching the scary film. The sixteen year old girl lived and breathed her new boyfriend Tyler. She usually spent the evening making kissing noises on the phone with him and waved us off whenever we requested her attention._

_Rumor in the fifth grade was that "It" was the scariest clown movie ever made. Edward and I begged our parents to let us watch it, but they told us we were too young and would have nightmares. As luck would have it, Jasper was able to borrow the movie from his cousin so we were in for a treat tonight._

_Esme and Carlisle were out to dinner with some friends and had given us strict instructions to watch Aladdin after we finished dinner and to be on our best behavior. Jasper's mom would be picking him up in a few hours and I was to return to my house at bedtime._

"_Shhh, it's starting," Edward shushed us all. The three of us commenced to getting comfortable on the rug in front of the television. I lay on my stomach with my feet in the air to the left of Edward, while Jasper sat on his right. Rosalie watched from the couch._

_About an hour into the film all of our positions switched instantaneously. Rosalie's face was buried in the couch cushions, Jasper was clutching the bowl of popcorn so tight, every time he jumped; several pieces would fly into the air and land on the rug. And Edward… my dear Edward was motionless in front of the screen, his arms braced around his knees in a firm grip. As for me, I was scared out of my wits. I managed to see snippets of the film with my hands covering my eyes during most of the scenes._

_I desperately wanted to tell Edward to turn it off. I'd rather watch Aladdin ten million times than see a deranged clown go after children, but I knew he was trying to prove he wasn't scared. Rosalie wouldn't let him hear the end of it and I had an inkling he didn't want to look like a wimp in front of Jasper._

_Later that evening, I heard sounds coming from my bedroom window. I sat up in bed and froze when I saw a dark shadow looking back at me. As I prepared to let loose a high-pitched scream, the figure spoke. "Bella, it's me."_

_I relaxed when I recognized Edward's voice and ran to the window. _

"_Edward, what are you doing here?" I lifted the window higher to allow him entrance. As he climbed in, I took in his disheveled appearance. His hair stuck up in every direction and he was wearing his favorite blue Power Ranger pajamas. _

_He stared at me, then at the floor. "I had this dream that Pennywise was trying to kill me," he said. Pennywise was the name of the dreadful clown in the movie we watched earlier this evening._

_I could tell it took a lot of courage for him to come over here and admit this to me. I truly felt bad for him._

"_Well you can stay here with me, you'll be safe here and Phil has a baseball bat if we need him," I said jokingly trying to make him feel better._

_My words seemed to appease him and he followed me to my bed. That night I was awakened by the sound of my best friend talking in his sleep and fidgeting in distress. "No…please…no!"_

_I wrapped my arms around his frame and tightened my hold on him. I felt his breathing calm instantly as he relaxed in my embrace._

***

That evening I prepared for my meeting with Edward. Something told me this wasn't going to be like our usual get-togethers. Usually I'd spend most of my weekends with Edward at his home laughing over a pizza and we'd end the evening watching the funniest movie we could find. However, our gatherings were becoming more infrequent now that Jessica was back in his life and of course, I had other ways—which my friends didn't particularly agree with, of entertaining myself.

I realized I had at least an hour to get ready. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and sighed. My boring brown eyes stared back at me and my hair hung limply on my shoulders. My skin was very pale. Many people looked at me in disbelief when I told them I was raised in Phoenix.

It didn't help that my appearance screamed plain Jane. Alice would often tell me I had the potential to be a knock out if I would just put in the effort. She'd try so many times to give me makeovers but I always fought the little pixie. I didn't see the appeal of putting on makeup and dressing up. I loved to be comfortable. Besides, I had no trouble attracting the attention of the opposite sex.

I reluctantly threw my hair in a low pony tail, put on my favorite blue crew neck sweater and combined it with a casual pair of dark wash jeans and sneakers. I grabbed my keys and headed out to my used cherry-red Camry. I loved this car; regrettably it was on its last leg. Charlie gave me the used vehicle as a gift when I graduated college. I adored it because it had character. Unfortunately it left me stranded often. I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time when those incidences occurred, but I knew one day I may not be so fortunate. Edward offered many times to buy me a new car, but I always declined. I didn't like the idea of anyone spending money on me let alone a new car. With his salary at Volterra he was able to own a glamorous silver Volvo. It suited his need for speed perfectly.

I slipped my key in the ignition. It was time to face the music.

***

As I neared Edward's home, I began to run through my mind the possible topics Edward might want to discuss. I anticipated it had to do with my actions yesterday evening. Hopefully he would accept my apology and move on. However, I had an inclination it wouldn't be so simple.

The scenery began to change as I reached Edward's neighborhood. Small apartments began to morph into large brownstones and the streets became quieter. Edward managed to purchase his own home which was rare for many young adults our age.

As I drove up to his beautiful maroon complex, I took a deep breathe. I had mentally prepared myself for whatever argument he was ready to throw at me about my sex life _for the hundredth time_.

I rang his doorbell and was instantly greeted with a freshly showered Edward. His bronze hair still looked wet and he wore a solid black T-shirt with dark blue jeans. I drunk in his entire frame and noticed he was barefoot. I sighed inwardly. The man could be covered in mud and still look like he was ready for a photo shoot. I was instantly hit with his signature scent; a mixture of cinnamon and sandalwood. His green eyes smiled down at me and he immediately lifted me up into a hug.

"You're right on time; the pizza should be here any minute," his warm breathe tickled my ear. I immediately relaxed into him as it registered with me that we were going to settle into our usual routine. We always ordered pizza. Edward couldn't cook to save his life. The man may have been blessed with intelligence and good looks but he could still burn water.

I entered his spacious abode while he trailed behind me. Edward's home was not only expensive, but charming and inviting. He had a large living room with a flat screen TV, and the biggest, most comfortable suede brown couch you could lay on. Beautiful paintings adorned his walls, the priciest ones situated along his hallway upstairs. He also had a collection of breathtaking sculptures from all across the globe located in different areas of the house.

My favorite part of his home was the kitchen. I called it my personal play house. He had numerous appliances, many of them unused. When he told me his kitchen was also my kitchen, my eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.

***

After the pizza arrived Edward and I got comfortable on the living room couch and set our dishes on the coffee table.

"So what are we watching tonight?" I asked letting the cheese cool on my pizza.

"We're not doing a movie tonight," he responded, focusing hard on his slice.

"Then what are we doing?"

"We're going to talk."

"About?"

"You."

_Here we go._

"Look Edward, I know what you're going to say and I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday, but you and I both know that what I do with my life is my business."

"Bella listen, I didn't invite you here to reproach you," he said calmly.

"Oh?" _This was new_, I thought.

"Yes, in fact I was wondering if I could offer you a…proposition."

I look into his green eyes warily.

"What do you mean offer me a _proposition?_" I asked forming air quotes around the word.

He refocused his attention on his slice of pizza. I could tell he was nervous. He wasn't looking me in the eye.

"Edward…what is it?"

He sighed and put his pizza down.

"Bella, I worry about you. If anything were to happen to you, I don't know what I would do."

"Edward nothings—"

"Just listen." He scooted closer to me on the couch and took my hand in his.

"I know you are a grown woman, as you have reminded me plenty of times." He rolled his eyes. "And your sex life is your business, but I just think the way you're going about it is all wrong."

"Edward, not this again—"

"Just hear me out, Bella. I was wondering..," he stammered. I could tell he was having a tough time with this.

_This must be serious._

"Edward," I said, squeezing his hand in reassurance.

"I was wondering—what if I were the one to satisfy your needs?" His words spilled out so fast, I barely understood him.

_Huh?_

"You're not making any sense Edward."

He sighed and ran his right hand through his long locks. I could tell this was hard for him.

"Bella... you're my best friend and love you. I would do anything for you and if it means offering myself to you sexually—"

_Wait a goddamn minute! _I thought as my mind slowly registered what he was getting at.

_Is he saying what I think he's saying?_

I dropped his hand. "Are you out of of your damn mind, Edward?!" I shouted, jumping to my feet. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

He winced and looked at the floor.

"No Bella, I'm serious."

I lifted his chin roughly and looked into his deep green orbs. They were nervous and tentative.

_Oh my God, he was serious._

I took a deep breathe and pinched the bridge of nose, a habit I picked up from Edward.

I proceeded to count to ten. I couldn't kill my best friend, I loved him dearly.

"Edward, do you really think that I'm some kind of crazed sex addict? That what I do is so bad that you have to… _offer _yourself to me?" I asked, finding it hard to let the actual words roll off my tongue.

"Bella, listen—"

"No you listen, Edward. Do you know how this sounds to me right now?"

"Bella—it's not like that I--"

"And what about Jessica your _girlfriend,_ remember her?" I cut him off.

"I ended my relationship with Jessica for good," he said quickly.

_Is this really happening?_

Before I could utter another word, he sighed and pulled me down toward him.

"Bella, please just hear me out, I know what you're thinking."

_Do you, really?_

"Yes, I _know _we are best friends. But at this point in our lives neither one of us is tied down. Jessica and I were never serious and I could never see myself spending the rest of my life with her. She is vain and only wanted me for my looks and money. I want to find a woman who is right for me in every way and I'm sure you want to eventually find someone to settle down with. What better way to be safe than to limit our sexual relationships to each other until we both find our perfect person?" he asked giving my hand a squeeze.

"Look at it this way," he continued gaining confidence. "We don't have any romantic feelings towards one another and I believe our friendship is strong enough to withstand this arrangement. Our relationship would be strictly physical."

I was still silent, Edward patiently waited for me to speak.

"Edward, we're like family."

"The keyword is _like"_

I sat up and looked into his eyes. They were dead serious.

I massaged my eyes with my fingers. I still couldn't wrap my mind around this situation.

"Friends with benefits type of relationships _never _work, Edward. Someone is bound to get hurt." I tried again.

"Bella, like I said before, I believe our bond is stronger than that," he said confidently. "Can you really see yourself falling in love with me?"

I really couldn't. Edward was very attractive, but the line ended there. Surprisingly, unlike many of the girls I grew up with, I never held any romantic feelings towards him.

"I just want us to _try_. If it doesn't work, we can put a stop to it," he insisted. "No harm done."

"What if one of us meets someone?" I interjected.

"Then we break it off," he said it like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Bella all I'm asking is that we give it a chance. I think it will work for the both of us. I won't have a heart attack wondering where you're in the middle of the night and whether you are safe. And I won't have to worry about some woman taking advantage of me. This will benefit you because you will get the pleasure you enjoy from someone you know-In fact that part will benefit the both of us," he teased with a crooked grin.

His serious expression returned. "We both trust each other and are responsible adults. I think this arrangement will be great for us until we find our better halves. All I'm asking is for us to_ try_."

_There goes that word again._

A million thoughts were running through my mind at once. Being with Edward _would_ take away all the work of spending my nights with random men. He _was _right about the safety issue. If I were with Edward, I could have my needs fulfilled and still hang out with my best friend. He did have the ability to make me feel whole and protected; also, he was very accessible. Maybe I could have the best of both worlds.

_I can't believe I'm even considering this._

"Okay." The word slipped out before I could stop it.

He looked up at me in surprise.

"Okay?" His eyes lightened with my new change of heart.

I found myself nodding.

"Okay."

_What the hell did I just get myself into?_

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**What _did _she get herself into? Have Edward and Bella really thought this through? I think they have many hurdles up ahead.**

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**AN: Hey everyone. Yes, I know, another update so soon! I really want everyone to get an idea of where I'm trying to take this story. Remember Bella and Edward only see each other as friends at this point. Friends With Benefits relationships sound great in theory, however, there is also a great chance someone will end up getting hurt. Unless both parties have a mutual understanding about the relationship, it won't work. (By the way, if you're in this kind of relationship and it works for you, that's great!)  
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**Also, I have a bone to pick with many of you. I've noticed lots of you putting this story on your alerts and favorites but not reviewing. I will post the next update when I see a reasonable amount of reviews! Deal? I'm sure you all want to know what happens next! :o)  
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	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Once again, thank you for the reviews and alerts. This is my longest chapter yet (I'm trying). I finally understand the pain writers go through trying to get their stories out in a timely fashion while still having them make sense.  
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"_To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world."_

_-Brandi Snyder_

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_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

_You have got to be kidding me, _I thought as my alarm clock blared obnoxiously. Through my sleep induced haze I felt around my bedside table to turn off the offending device.

It was Sunday morning and 8 a.m. I groaned. I had reluctantly made plans with Alice on what would usually be my day of rest. After listening to her continuous begging and pleading, the little pixie convinced me to do an early brunch and shopping with her today. I finally agreed figuring I owed her after my irresponsible behavior at the club Friday.

As my mind rehashed that evening, I instantly remembered my conversation with Edward last night.

_His proposition._

_Our agreement._

I immediately felt my stomach plummet and my heart rate pick up.

_What was I thinking?_

I had agreed to sleep with my best friend. The one person who I trusted and would give my life for. The man who I considered my brother, my confidant.

It was as if my mind was sobering up from last night's unprecedented event. I was instantly struck with waves of anxiety.

_How could I agree to such a thing?_

I sat up and took slow, even breathes in a desperate effort to calm myself. I was over thinking like I usually did. I had to remember that it was Edward who offered the proposition. It was Edward, the man who loved and trusted me, who insisted that we take this chance. It was Edward who truly believed this was the right thing to do for the both of us. I trusted him. This seemed to calm my sporadic heart somewhat.

I briefly wondered if he was also experiencing second thoughts. Then again Edward was the type of person who would examine a situation from all sides before making a decision. It was one of the many reasons people looked to him for guidance and why he upheld his new position at Volterra Advertising. Edward did not make major decisions without running through every possible outcome. He had to have thought about this for some time.

After I accepted his proposition last night the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. We eventually decided to watch a movie after all. I think it was his weak attempt at pretending nothing between us had really changed--which was absolutely preposterous. In the meantime, it was impossible for me to even focus on the film. I'm not sure I even remember what we watched. Instead my mind was swirling with thoughts about what this new arrangement would mean for the both of us.

One of my most pressing issues was how we would be able to take that leap from friends to being involved intimately. If we had always considered ourselves family, how would we go about crossing that line? Wouldn't the situation be uncomfortable for the both of us?

I had never even seen Edward naked.

He had never seen me naked.

_Oh God. _

The thought of Edward seeing me naked instantly returned my trepidation. Believe it or not the reason wasn't because I was insecure about my body. In fact, I took pride in my naked form, which was another reason I was confident in the bedroom. But the thought of my best friend seeing me so vulnerable was almost… frightening. We would be crossing a boundary that we could never return from.

This brought on even more important issues. Would we just have sex? Would there be kissing involved? Would our new sexual relationship be a secret?

Edward and I hadn't discussed the extent of our agreement and it suddenly occurred to me that we would have to at least set some ground rules. This wasn't something that could just happen. I also couldn't bear the thought of our friends knowing. Something told me this wouldn't fly with them at all and like I've said many times, my sex life was my business. I was sure Edward would prefer it this way too.

With this new onslaught of questions, I knew I would have to have another talk with Edward. We would have to discuss rules and boundaries.

Yes, we definitely needed to talk.

***

Five hours and ten shopping bags later, Alice and I had decided to rest our feet and bags at a coffee shop a few doors down from the mall. I was exhausted and grateful for the break. Shopping with Alice was not an easy feat. Her movements were almost dizzying. She would go off and disappear returning at startling speed with even more items on her arm for me to try on.

"Come on, Bella, please just try it on for me," she'd beg with her signature pout. It resulted in me purchasing a plethora of dresses that I had no use for. Other items she persuaded me to buy consisted of tight fitted tops and jeans. I knew there was a good chance they would wound stored in the back of my closet with the other gifts she'd bought for me during her usual shopping ventures. Unbeknownst to her, those items still had the tag on them.

The worst part of the trip had to be our visit to the lingerie shop. Alice pulled the laciest, most revealing items off of the rack for me. This was where I had to put my foot down. She could have free reign over my clothing choices, but when it came to what I wore during the most joyous moments of my life, I had to regain control.

I had a specific requirement when it came to my undergarments and my bedmates had no problem with my choices.

Instead of lacey bras and g-strings, I settled for simple yet tasteful boy shorts and tanks. A particular midnight blue set caught my eye and I thought it was perfect for me. Even Alice agreed.

Although my feet were paying for it, I really enjoyed my outing with Alice. The trip was able to get my mind off of my situation with Edward. Her company always managed to lift my spirits. She reminded me of a little fairy sprinkling her 'happy dust' everywhere she went.

I met Alice when I attended Chicago State University. She was my roommate from hell for the first few weeks. I thought someone was playing a pretty cruel joke on me when they decided to pair us together. Before moving in, the school had us fill out forms to match us up with a roommate that held similar interests. Somehow, someone thought Alice and I would be perfect together.

Upon first meeting Alice, I felt we had absolutely nothing in common. She majored in Interior Design and liked to go to parties often while I found joy laying around in my pajamas and reading classic novels. Eventually our conversations were limited to a bunch of grunts and after a while we found it best to just ignore one another. She would play her loud pop music while studying and kept her side of the bedroom an absolute mess and I'd do my best to disregard her---however, decorating our room in the dizzying colors of hot pink and zebra stripes was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I broke my vow of silence and found myself in a screaming match with the tiny spiky haired girl. It would have been a hilarious sight for anyone who would have stumbled upon us-Alice standing up on her bed to appear taller me screaming at the top of her lungs, while I furiously removed her hideous curtains. Midway through the argument, we ended up crying with laughter over the absurdity of the situation. That broke the ice between us and surprisingly we found joy and comfort in each others company. We've been best friends ever since.

"So, I was thinking," Alice said, interrupting my thoughts as she sipped her peppermint tea. I instantly noticed the glint she usually got in her eye when she was plotting something. "I found the perfect guy for you—"

I instantly raised my hand to stop her. "No, Alice, you know I don't do blind dates especially after what you put me through last time."

She rolled her eyes. "So I messed up one time, Bella. This guy is different."

I couldn't believe she was throwing my last situation under the rug so willingly. I shuddered as I remembered when she set me up with her client, Aro. I still don't know what she was thinking. The man was thirty years old and balding. He also had a severe sweating problem. He took me to an expensive restaurant and made skeevy comments to me all night. I couldn't even finish my dinner as I watched him wipe the perspiration off his face every five minutes with his napkin and proceed to ogle my chest with no shame.

"No, Alice."

"Please, Bella." She poked out her bottom lip. "This guy is much better. His name is Mike Newton and he's my newest client. Alice worked as an interior designer and news of her work was quickly spreading throughout Chicago.

"He's a lawyer, very attractive and very single."

"Alice, what did I tell you about meddling in my life?" I asked exasperated.

"Bella, I just want to see you happy," she said glumly. "You deserve it and I'm just tired of seeing you alone. I know you enjoy your lifestyle, but I feel there is so much better out there for you. I want you to find the happiness that I have."

I knew her heart was in the right place and I just couldn't stay mad at her. She just wanted the best for me. Ever since she found Jasper, Alice hoped for me to find the same.

"I'll tell you what Alice, I'll think about," I said to pacify her.

This seemed to be all the encouragement she needed and she left the subject alone, for now.

***

The following week, I didn't see or hear much from Edward. We were playing a wonderful game of phone tag. With his new position at Volterra came a much busier schedule. I was finally able to get a hold of him for more than five minutes on Thursday. We made plans to get together at my apartment Friday evening.

As I prepared for Edward's arrival I decided to cook my infamous lasagna, his favorite. He notified me he would be late because of an unexpected occurrence at the office. I offered to reschedule but he insisted on coming straight from work. He sounded stressed and tired on the phone and I was hoping this meal would lift his spirits. As I set the lasagna out to cool, I heard the door bell ring.

It was getting close to 8 p.m. and I knew it was Edward. As I open the door, I instantly felt bad for the guy. His deep green eyes held dark shadows underneath them, his tie was gone and his hair looked like he had been running his fingers through it all day.

"You look wonderful," I said sarcastically.

He offered me a tired grin and planted a kiss on my forehead before sauntering in. Although my quaint little apartment was half the size of Edward's home he enjoyed it. He instantly kicked off his shoes and made himself comfortable on my tiny couch.

"Is that lasagna I smell?" he asked, his eyes lighting up at the prospect. He removed his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves on his crisp white shirt.

"It sure is." I smiled; glad I made the decision to make it.

About an hour later we were stuffed to the hilt and settled on the couch. Edward's arm was around me while I rested my head on his shoulder. His feet were crossed on the coffee table. It felt like old times as we caught up on the lives of one another. I realized I missed my best friend and his new role at work was making our gatherings more infrequent.

Meanwhile, Edward's job seemed to be coming along well except for a few bumps in the road. I on the other hand filled him in on the latest gossip from the teacher's lounge at Kenwood Middle School. Rumor had it one of the science teachers, Mr. Banner, was caught cheating on his wife with a twenty year old.

As the conversation slowly lulled, Edward was the first to change the direction and bring up the real reason he was here.

"So about my proposition last week," he started. "I'm guessing you didn't bring me over here just for dinner— you said you had some questions?"

I sat up into a sitting position preparing for an intense discussion.

"Yes, Edward, I'm having trouble accepting this whole thing," I said gesturing with my arm to the both of us. "Are you really sure this is a good idea?"

He lifted his left hand to push my hair behind my ear and gazed at me with a serious expression. "I'm sure."

"Bella, this was a big decision for me and I have thought it through long and hard," he said turning his body toward me. "If you're having second thoughts, tell me. I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do."

He patiently waited for my response.

"No, I want to do this," I said surprising myself once again. I squeezed his fingers in reassurance.

He let out a breathe.

"I'm just…scared," I admitted.

At this Edward pulled me into both of his arms, his sweet scent instantly calming me.

He lifted my chin. "What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared of what this will do to our friendship. I'm scared I won't be good enough and you will regret making this decision. I'm scared of losing you." It all poured out in one breathe.

There was nothing but silence that followed. All I could hear was the beating of Edward's heart with my ear pressed to his chest.

"Bella, I would never do anything to destroy this friendship. I can't imagine my life without you in it. If this weren't to work out, I'd still be in your life. I will never leave you. I honestly cannot imagine my life without you." I felt soft pressure on my hair as he planted his lips there.

His words rang so true in that moment and I believed him.

"Do you trust me?" he asked

"Always," I breathed.

He relaxed at my words. "Anymore questions?"

"Yes, actually," I began awkwardly. "When will we take this to the next step? I have never been in this situation before and I don't know what I'm doing. Don't we have to set rules or something to that effect?"

He chuckled, his shoulders shaking with the sound. "Now that is a good question. I was hoping things would just fall into place."

"Edward, we haven't even kissed before!" I blurted out. I froze at my slip. I wasn't even sure he wanted us to kiss.

"I mean that is if you want us to." I quickly recovered.

He sighed. "Bella, I understand your anxiety. This is a big deal of course but I think we will have to learn as we go. As for rules, we do whatever feels comfortable. In regards to us making this transition…I was actually thinking we could at least set a date for next Saturday, if it's okay with you of course."

I gasped inwardly. This was suddenly becoming very real. I couldn't believe we were actually going to do this.

"I'm okay with it," I said with false confidence. In reality my heart was fighting to climb through my throat.

"And as for kissing," he continued, his voice husky and teasing in my ear. "I do enjoy kissing--that is...if you don't have a problem with it."

"I don't think so," I stammered. I felt my skin warm and knew I was blushing.

"Well, Bella, there's only one way to be sure," he said softly.

My heart stuttered instantly.

_Did he want for us to kiss right now?_

He noticed my body tense. "Breathe, Bella, remember we have to test our boundaries, if this is too uncomfortable for you, tell me." He rubbed soothing circles on my back. He was offering me one last out.

_We could do this. I could do this, _I thought. _Our friendship is strong enough._

"No, I want to do this, Edward," I said catching his gaze. I changed my position to sit up and face him. He matched my movements.

The air stilled around us while the sound of our breathing filled the silence. I could tell he was just as nervous as I was.

His eyes were intensely trained on my lips. I licked them unconsciously.

Throughout our teen years, I've always heard my best friend was a great kisser. His girlfriends always boasted about their escapades in the locker room or felt the need to spill their guts to me. I never second guessed them though. Edward was great at everything.

My eyes shifted to his soft pink lips. They looked like satin and I found myself instantly wanting to find out if they felt the same way.

"Ready?" he whispered.

I nodded.

Edward scooted closer, engulfing me in his intoxicating scent. He caressed my cheek with his thumb lightly as he lifted my chin. As he inched closer, I knew in that moment, our lives were about to change forever.

* * *

**Did I really just end the chapter there? I think I did. *cackles evilly***

**I'm sure many of you can't wait for these two to jump in the sack but I'm very anal about pacing. There is a lot more to this story. But I can say that part is definitely coming soon.**

**If you want to give me incentive to update quickly-Review! :O)**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: So I had to make a choice. Send out a short chapter or have you wait another few days so that I could make this one longer. I chose the former. I couldn't let you guys deal w/ the wait. This was a crazy week for me but on a more uplifting note, I'm finally employed. Because of this, I couldn't put all my attention on the story, I was so busy gearing up for my interview and trying to rid myself of the anxiety. But everything worked out. So without further interruption, here is the kiss.**

* * *

"_Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.__"_

_-Anonymous_

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* * *

  
_

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My eyes shifted to his soft pink lips. They looked like satin and I found myself instantly wanting to find out if they felt the same way.

"Ready?" he whispered.

I nodded.

Edward scooted closer, engulfing me in his intoxicating scent. He caressed my cheek with his thumb lightly as he lifted my chin. As he inched closer, I knew in that moment, our lives were about to change forever.

* * *

My heart beat uncontrollably inside my chest while my hands clutched the material of the couch cushion below me. Nothing could be heard but the sound of our breathing.

I could feel the heat of his body as he closed the distance between us. I clinched the cushion tighter in both fear and anticipation. And then…I felt him. A soft sensation almost feathery brushed against my lips. His thumb trailed lazily against my cheek as he paused and pulled back.

He was pacing us.

He exhaled a shaky breathe and the scent of the cherry wine we had with dinner permeated my senses. And then…I felt him again, this time more forceful than the first. His lips were pressed against mine with a purpose, silky and soft. A tingling sensation started at my lips and began to spread throughout my body.

He pulled back and then proceeded to plant a succession of urgent kisses on my lips getting used to the feel of me. They were sweet and innocent and just so Edward. I felt him stop again and I tentatively opened my eyes. I was met with an unsure gaze, I nodded. I knew he was questioning whether I was okay. He exhaled once more assaulting me with his scent. He held my chin and tilted his head.

_This was it,_ I thought.

He pressed his lips to mine again and the tingling feeling was reignited. His tongue trailed my bottom lip asking for permission to enter. I took him in. It was everything I didn't imagine-sensual and erotic. His tongue danced with mine gathering more courage every second. He tasted of cherry intermingled with his own sweet flavor. The kiss no longer timid became more purposeful. I felt myself let go of the cushion as my hands made their ascent to the soft hairs on the back of his neck and eventually into his long bronze locks. He groaned. Suddenly, it was as if something awakened inside me at the sound. I found pleasure in that sound and wanted to hear it again. I became more aggressive with the kiss and grabbed onto him tighter enjoying the sensations spreading through my limbs. I could feel him struggling to keep up with me. I knew I was going to need to come up for air very soon and as if on cue he pulled away.

Both of us were left gasping for air.

I chanced a nervous glance at my best friend. His hair was disheveled even worse than before due to my hand work and his lips were red and swollen. I knew I mirrored his appearance.

My face heated at the realization of what I just did. I pretty much attacked him.

"Was that okay?" he asked breathlessly.

_Was he being modest? _

"It was fine," I whispered thankful that he didn't hint at my recent aggression.

_What the hell got into me?_

***

I sighed as I scrawled a large C in red on yet another essay. I was going to have to give my students a lecture on laziness. These days they were only doing enough to get by which was disappointing. If they thought they could get away with this in the real world they were in for a rude awakening.

As I sat at my desk doing this mundane task, I couldn't help but get lost in my thoughts. Not only was I was having anxiety about my upcoming night with Edward but I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss we shared the other evening.

I never really enjoyed kissing. In fact, I always found it unnecessary and a tad invasive. I once told Alice and Rosalie this and they looked at me like I was from another planet. Kissing never really appealed to me. My boyfriends in the past learned to accept this feeling of mine and would settle for giving me pecks and only occasional tongue action. I didn't do those long make out sessions, they just didn't do it for me. More so, I found the idea of mixing saliva with another person slightly repulsive.

Alice was convinced that I didn't find my prince charming yet because when she kissed Jasper she felt sparks and saw fireworks. I'd roll my eyes at her theatrics. She was always a hopeless romantic. Rosalie just chucked it up to my tomboyish ways. I ignored them both. I figured what I felt was normal. Some people just didn't like kissing and I happened to be one of them.

But then I kissed Edward.

I dropped my pen and rubbed my forehead. I could feel an oncoming headache. That night evoked a number of emotions within me. My behavior during the kiss still startled me but I brushed it off as never having experienced a good kisser before. I rolled my eyes. He really was good at everything. I guess I should have been happy that the kiss wasn't awkward or worst of all incestual. It did mean that maybe we would do just fine sexually. However I still had the nagging feeling that this was not a good idea. The feeling would often appear but I'd pacify it as best as I could. I had faith in Edward.

* * *

**Bella sure got carried away with that kiss, didn't she? I don't blame her. I think the poor girl has been kissing too many frogs. I can't wait until we get a little further in the story so we can witness these two continue to explore one another (frequently). *wink wink*  
**

**Thanks for the reviews. I really do appreciate them. Whenever I'm struggling with a bit of writer's block, I go back and read them. Next chapter coming soon. **


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Please read this everyone or you will get confused. The first half of this story is a flashback. I figured we needed some more background on these two so we could get an idea why their friendship is the way it is today. Usually I would put the flashback in italic form but it's very long and I don't want to hurt your eyes. If you see ~F~ it means the flashback is continuing. The last scene you will notice a break in the page. That means we're back in the present. (I apologize beforehand for any errors. I usually catch them a few days later.)**

* * *

"_A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.__"_

_-Anonymous_

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* * *

_

--March 10, 2001--

Ever since the day I moved to Phoenix, Edward and I have been pretty much inseparable. If either of us were alone, someone would often inquire where the other one was. Our parents were used to our co-dependent relationship and learned to ignore it. I had Edward Cullen as my best friend and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

In high school I was the envy of all the girls. Many of them would kill to be in my shoes. My best friend happened to be the most attractive boy in the school and one of the best athletes on the baseball team. He was intelligent, sweet and multitalented. Girls would swoon when he flashed them his crooked grin and the guys tried their best to be seen with him.

Although Edward and I did spend the majority of our time together he still had his share of girlfriends. Not surprisingly, most of them couldn't stand me and learned to tolerate or ignore me. They had to do either or because Edward didn't let having a girlfriend affect our friendship. They abhorred me because of this. However I do give them credit for managing to hide their distaste of me in front of him. Not that I blamed them- I'd be perturbed too if my boyfriend invited his best friend on many of our dates. Yep, I'd accompany Edward and his girlfriends to movies and parties and he saw no problem with this. He'd tell them they had no reason to feel threatened; I was the sister he never had--much to Rosalie's dismay. I figured I was doing all those girls a favor anyway. Without my presence, he'd realize how dull they really were and dump them a lot sooner. We had a great system--that is until he met his first love, Tanya.

Tanya Denali transferred to Phoenix High at the beginning of our junior year from New York City. She was feisty, tall, and drop dead gorgeous. When you weren't focusing on her legs, her next greatest attribute was her beautiful long red curls. Her skin was flawless and her features were perfect. It was no surprise she did some modeling back home and even a few television commercials. Tanya took Phoenix High by storm. She quickly climbed the rinks as the most popular girl in the school and became head of the cheerleading squad. Unfortunately her beauty was instantly forgotten when she opened her mouth. She was down right crude and conceited. I made sure to keep my distance, much to my dismay, another red head couldn't.

To say Edward was smitten would be an understatement. He cherished the ground she walked on. Within days, Edward and Tanya became the hottest couple in the school. I don't look back on those days fondly; in fact I call them the dark ages. To an outsider they were perfect for one another. Both beautiful and talented, but they did have their problems. Their relationship was an emotional roller coaster. Edward fell in love with her at the impressionable age of sixteen. He was willing to do anything for her. Anything. Even if that anything meant losing me.

Tanya despised me. Of course she never showed her true feelings in front of Edward but she made sure to let me know when he wasn't within earshot. I couldn't stomach her either and knew she was all wrong for Edward. But my best friend was blindly in love. Edward wore his heart on his sleeve and when he loved, he loved hard. I didn't believe Tanya deserved his love at all. Nevertheless she had him in the palm of her hands and he played right into her games.

The closer Edward and Tanya became the further apart my relationship with Edward grew. Much to my displeasure, he began to spend less time with me. I 'd often see their silhouettes in his bedroom from my window and catch glimpses and sounds of them laughing and enjoying each other's company like we used to do. I hated to admit it, but I was jealous of Tanya. It wasn't because she was Edward's girlfriend but she took away my time with my best friend. I'd confront Edward about his lack of effort in our friendship but he'd placate me and tell me I had nothing to worry about.

"Bella, you are overreacting," he'd say. "You and Tanya are two of the most important women in my life. Please just give her a chance. I love her and I don't want to choose."

His plea was desperate. I didn't want to ruin my best friend's happiness so I tried my best to get along with Tanya. But of course she wasn't having it. One day in school while I was in the girl's bathroom the wicked witch walked in.

"Hi Tanya," I said reluctantly.

She waved me off and proceeded to fix her hair. Finally deeming I was worthy of her presence she turned to me with a scowl.

"I think it's really pathetic that you don't have a life and follow Edward around like a lost puppy," she said.

I froze.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me and don't deny it isn't true," she said. "I spoke with Edward and he wants us to be friends." She rolled her eyes at the word. "But that's not going to happen; Edward loves me and feels sorry for you."

"You don't know what you're talking about. Edward and I have been best friends for years." I said angrily.

"I don't care what went on between you guys before I came, but he belongs to me now. Just give me time and I will make sure you're out of his life for good."

She adjusted her purse and stomped out the room, slamming the door.

I stood there in shock.

I could have told Edward about the confrontation but I didn't. He was just so happy and I didn't want to be the cause of any worry on his part. So I did the only thing I could do and kept my distance. Sadly, he barely noticed.

Although I'd do anything to keep the smile on my best friend's face that all changed the day I spotted Tanya making out with the football captain, James, after school. My heart broke at the image because I knew I would have to be the one to shatter Edward's world.

I literally made myself sick thinking of how to break the news to him. I knew I would just have to come out with it. He didn't deserve to be treated like this. So the following evening I made plans with him over the phone and told him we needed to talk. I knew he could tell something was wrong by the serious tone of my voice but he didn't question me. I kept the conversation brief.

I decided it would be best to meet him in his home. It would be better on his turf.

~F~

That rainy evening I was in Edward's bedroom, knees clutched to my chest while I sat on his bed. He sat in his desk chair across from me his elbows resting on his thighs while his bronze hair dipped into his eyes. The air was suffocating and as I looked around the room I spent so much time in, it didn't feel like our place anymore. Gifts from Tanya adorned his furniture and a photo of them sat on his bedside table. I guess home turf wasn't the greatest idea.

"Is everything okay, Bella?" he asked. "Your phone call really freaked me out."

I bit my lip almost causing the skin to break. This was going to be so difficult and for the first time in months I'd rather be anywhere else.

"Edward I have something I need to tell you. As your best friend I feel it's my duty to tell you." I began nervously twirling a strand of my hair.

"Bella, just spill it," he said exasperated. "Is it about you, did someone hurt you?"

He began to get worked up and I saw his body go rigid.

"No, Edward, no one hurt me, I'm fine." He visibly relaxed.

"It's about you."

"Well what is it, Bella?" He was getting annoyed. Not wanting to stretch this out any longer I finally spoke.

"It's also about Tanya."

His brows furrowed confused. "What about Tanya?"

"Edward, I saw her kissing James after school." The words came out so fast, they were almost impossible to understand.

The silence in the room was so loud in that moment.

I risked a glance at my best friend and was shocked at the image I was faced with.

His green eyes were darkened and tight. His hands clenched into fists.

"Edward, are you okay? I know this is painful to hear, but I had to tell you."

More silence.

"Edward?"

His pale skin shimmered from the moonlight outside.

"Get out."

My head shot up.

"What?" I stammered.

"Get the fuck out." His voice was harsh.

"But Edward—"

"She warned me you were jealous, but I didn't think you could be so malicious."

I was frozen in my spot.

"You don't believe me?" I whispered. "Edward, why would I lie about this? I'm your best friend."

"_Was_. Now get the fuck out of my house."

I trembled at the harshness of his tone. He had never spoken to me like this before and I've only heard him use obscenities a handful of times in our life. Worst of all I was devastated. He didn't believe me. The one person I trusted more than my own family didn't believe me. He was choosing her over me.

Without another word, I left.

~F~

Many days went by without so much as a word from Edward. The world kept on spinning and pretty soon those days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months. He didn't acknowledge me or look my way when I was nearby. It didn't help that we moved in the same circle and our fractured friendship was affecting everyone around us.

Jasper who was always so calm and sensitive to the emotions of those around him felt the biggest strain. I felt horrible that he was caught in the middle of our silent war and sometimes felt he had to choose. Rosalie was another story. Unlike her brother, she needed no convincing on the true character of Tanya Denali. Rosalie despised the girl as soon as her heels hit the floors of Phoenix High. I had my suspicions this had a lot to do with all the attention Tanya received. While Rosalie was breathtaking in her own way with her beautiful blonde hair and big blue eyes, Tanya was a fresh face and it wasn't surprising Rosalie felt a little threatened. However even pleas from his own sister failed to pull the wool from his eyes.

Losing my best friend was like losing a piece of me. I didn't feel whole and the emptiness soon manifested itself into an ache. I missed him terribly. More so, I was hurt he was so easily convinced that I would intentionally create a lie to sabotage his relationship. Although I had ill feelings toward Tanya, she made him happy and I would never take that away from him. He deserved happiness.

Sometimes late in the evening, I would steal a glance at the window across from mine. I'd often notice his light on and would wonder what he was up to or if I ever crossed his thoughts as he did mine constantly.

Jasper revealed to me that Edward was an emotional wreck. I found this difficult to believe because if he was, he sure masked it well. Then again Edward was good at disguising his emotions. It took me years to learn how to read him, and I still had trouble.

"He's really hurting, Bella," Jasper would say during our daily walks. "Just give him time."

"He's hurting?" Just like always, Edward was able to gain everyone's sympathy. "Jasper he's the one who chose his girlfriend of only a few months over his best friend of ten years. Not only does he not trust me, but _he_ chose to end our friendship and throw it away."

My eyes began to water and I could feel the tears threatening to fall. Jasper immediately noticed and pulled me into a hug whispering soothing words in my ear.

"Don't worry, Bella. He'll come around."

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve embarrassingly. I hated appearing weak in front of anyone but Jasper had a way of breaking down walls.

"I don't know if I could forgive him if he did," I said somberly.

He gave me a sad smile.

"I have a feeling it will all work out sweetheart. On a much lighter note, I do hope you two will be able to put your differences aside for my birthday party Saturday night."

"You have my word, Jasper. I won't let our situation ruin your big day."

I linked my arm with his very thankful I still had Jasper as a friend. Although he wasn't Edward he still watched out for me. I had a feeling deep down; Edward may have told him to.

Jasper's family was loaded. Even more loaded than the Cullens. Mr. Whitlock owned several hotels in Phoenix and throughout the states. Mrs. Whitlock earned a hefty paycheck selling real estate. They were always busy with their own projects so much so that they had to use the services of a live-in nanny to care for Jasper. The Whitlocks were always traveling or on one of their many excursions. Luckily with companions like me, Edward and Rosalie, we made sure he never felt alone.

With rich parents came a very large home. Jasper lived in a mansion and it was the perfect spot for his seventeenth birthday party which would be accommodating the junior and senior classes of Phoenix High. Everyone connected to Jasper in some special way, which is why I knew this would be one of the biggest parties of the school year.

Usually I would jump at the chance to celebrate this day with my friend but this year was not the same. Edward would be off who knows where with Tanya and with Jasper's popularity, it would be difficult to get his attention. Be that as it may, I did want to support my friend on his special day.

~F~

That evening I prepared for what would be the longest and most memorable night of my life. I dressed simple in a teal sweater, jeans and converses. I opted on blow drying my wavy hair straight to at least make it appear as if I put some effort into my appearance.

Ever the loyal friend, Rosalie picked me up in her red Mercedes looking like Marilyn Monroe in a sexy tight red dress. We were total opposites when it came to our personalities and the clothing we wore yet our friendship came easy. I was going to miss her when she went off to Chicago State University.

The loud music could be heard as we parked on Jasper's street. Party stragglers were already on the porch lounging and holding red cups. As soon as we entered the double doors we were met with Phoenix High in the flesh. Throngs of people were packed in the foyer and we had to squeeze our way through sweaty bodies to get to the living room area on the right. I was already feeling claustrophobic. While Rosalie spotted some friends, I went off to find the birthday boy.

"Bella!" I turned around at the familiar voice. I immediately welcomed the familiar face of my good friend Angela.

"Hey, Ang. Good to see you."

"Yes, it's good to see everybody." She rolled her eyes and waved her hand gesturing at the crowd. "It's a little packed, isn't it?"

"I know, I'm wondering if I will be able to survive the night."

"I'm right there with you—well it looks like maybe I will."

I followed her gaze and saw one of our classmates, Ben, in the corner at the pool table. I gave her a knowing grin.

"Have you seen Jasper?"

"He's in the kitchen."

"Okay, Ang. I'll see you around," I said, but she had already gone off in Ben's direction. I chuckled.

I found my blond-haired tall and lanky friend in the kitchen stirring a bowl of punch.

"Well if isn't the birthday boy."

He smiled at my voice and put the ladle to the side. I walked into his arms and he kissed my forehead.

"Good to see you," he whispered in my ear. "Promise me you will enjoy yourself tonight."

Always the selfless one, he cared more about my needs than his on what was his big day.

"I'll be fine, Jasper." At this he picked up the heavy punch bowl and I followed him to the living room where he set it on the table.

I heard a noise in the direction of the entryway and my heart stuttered when I saw the tip of a bronze head followed by dark red tresses. Edward and Tanya had arrived. As Edward came into view, I took in his appearance. He looked striking in a dark green sweater which set off the color of his eyes. As if he could feel my stare, he looked my way. I couldn't decipher his expression but his gaze was intense.

Harsh red nails grabbed at his arm and my gaze drifted to the interruption. Wearing a tight black painted on halter dress and a sneer was Tanya. Her eyes shot daggers at me. I watched as they walked in our direction most likely to give their regards to Jasper. My body immediately tensed. Sensing a change in my demeanor, Jasper squeezed my hand.

"Hey brother," Jasper said, giving Edward one of those manly hugs.

"Happy birthday, Jazz." The smooth voice spoke.

"Hey, Jazz." The witch screeched.

_Who did she think she was calling him Jazz? She barely acknowledged him except when Edward was around._

Jasper always the gentleman, shook her had.

The tension was palpable between the four of us. As if she just noticed I was there, the witch spoke.

"Oh hey, Bella. You look nice," she said sarcastically. "Nice of you to dress up for the occasion."

Edward cleared his throat. "Let's go Tanya."

I was thankful he coaxed her away. The last thing Jasper needed was a throw down in his home.

~F~

As the party wore on, things got a little more rowdy, especially when James and company arrived. I could have sworn I saw him pour something into the punch bowl and my suspicions were confirmed when the chatter became more slurred and people began to stumble and sway instead of walk.

I decided I didn't want to join in the drinking. Instead I just kept an eye on Jasper. I was surprised to see Edward going back for seconds and thirds. He was never the type to break the rules like but ever since Tanya waltzed into his life he was losing more and more of himself. I watched as she cuddled up to him in one of the armchairs.

A little after midnight, things really started to go downhill. There was a commotion upstairs and I saw Jasper running in that direction. I quickly followed and gasped at the scene displayed before me. In one of the spare bedrooms stood Edward with a bruised eye and blood on his fist. On the floor was James clutching his stomach while blood dripped from his nose.

"Edward, I'm sorry, please--"

My head turned in the direction of the familiar grating voice. Tanya was crouched in the corner of the room, holding the straps of her dress to her chest.

"Don't! I trusted you." His voice was hard. "I gave up so much for you."

A couple of James' friends came forward and dragged him out of the room while Jasper tried desperately to calm an irate Edward. His attempts were futile as Edward stormed out of the room.

Jasper quickly found Rosalie and filled her in on the recent event.

"That bitch!" she shouted. She spotted a crying Tanya in the hall and scowled. "Get your shit together and get out. Stay away from my brother!"

Without another glance her way, the three of us exited the floor on a mission to find Edward. We may have been on bad terms, but I did want to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. He was known for his violent temper hence the recent altercation.

We finally found him in the backyard sitting on a lawn chair nursing a can of beer.

"Edward, lets go home," Rosalie said kneeling down in front of him.

He looked up at her with his watery eyes one of them a dark shade of purple. His gaze then shifted to me and all I saw was pain. Jasper helped lift him up. He obviously had too much to drink. Suddenly, he stopped and jerked out of Jasper's grasp and proceeded to retch in one of the flower pots. I winced at the sound of him gagging while his body jerked in spasms.

"Oh great, he's not getting in my car like that," Rosalie muttered.

When he was done relieving himself, Jasper held up his left side while Rosalie took the right. I followed silently behind them. I wanted to help him but I felt lost in that moment. I didn't know where we stood. Jasper told me where I could find an icepack for his eye.

After Jasper got Edward situated in the back of Rosalie's car, he bid us farewell and we promised to call him once we got Edward home. I sat in the back with Edward. Rosalie wanted me to be on puke alert. Edward pressed the icepack to his eye and groaned at the movements of the car.

"That's what you get for drinking," Rosalie nagged. I had a feeling some of those bumps were intentional.

He groaned again and started to lie down. I gasped as his heavy head hit my lap.

"Is this okay?" he mumbled with closed eyes. I could tell he felt like hell.

"Yeah."

I unconsciously ran my fingers through his hair. Something I hadn't done in a very long time.

That night set the motion for me getting my best friend back, but I didn't make it easy. A hung-over Edward climbed through my window the next morning. He looked pale, sick and broken. It was hard to look him in the eyes. There was so much pain there. We ended up doing something we hadn't done since our pre-teen years. I held him in my bed and ran my fingers through his hair while he held on to me tightly. That day we talked about everything-our fears, doubts and insecurities. More importantly we both made a promise. A promise to never let anyone or anything come between us again. I'd like to say we immediately became best buds but it wasn't that simple. You can't just put a band-aid over a wound without cleaning it. However each day Edward would give me a new reason to strengthen my trust in him and vice versa. Trust was a key component in our relationship and it made our bond solid.

* * *

I jumped at the sound of my phone ringing. I had been a nervous wreck all day. I barely slept the night before and I was very wired up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella, it's Alice. Want to go out for drinks tonight?" asked my chipper friend.

"Not tonight, Alice. I have plans."

"What plans? If you call sleeping with strangers a plan, you must be kidding yourself."

"Please don't do this now, Alice. This is not the time."

"When is there ever a right time for this conversation, Bella? Remember that Mike guy I told you about? I invited him along to meet with you tonight."

I tried to calm myself, but she was doing it again. She was meddling.

"Alice, I can't believe you did that. I told you I'd think about it. I never said I would."

"Bella, you just need that push. Mike's a really great guy and I have a feeling he'll be good for you."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. This was not what I needed especially right now.

"Look, Alice, you're going to have to break it to Mike that I'm not coming. I have plans and my life doesn't stop because you say so."

"But, Bella, I told him you were coming," she whined. I could picture her pouting.

"That's too bad, Alice. I have to go."

I slammed the phone down. I couldn't believe she had the audacity to do something like that. _Then again, this was Alice_, I thought. Still, I was fuming. I had enough to worry about.

I heard my phone ring again and was ready to tell the pixie off until I recognized the number and my heart stuttered.

"Hello?" I asked nervously.

"Bella?" the tense voice inquired. I could hear his heavy breathing.

"Yes" I stammered. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," he breathed. "I just wanted to make sure... we were still on for tonight."

My stomach was in knots and I tried desperately to keep my voice from cracking.

"Yes, we're still on."

* * *

**I wonder who that was on the phone. Can we all say finally? OK, I'm done teasing you guys. I promise next chapter will be worth the wait. Review or I will make them have terrible sex. Kidding! Or am I? :O)**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Warning, this story is rated M and contains sexual material. If you're underage don't read (I might as well be talking to the wall, I know the youngsters won't listen).** **Sorry for the delay, I simply found some great stories and got sidetracked. If you notice obvious errors feel free to point them out because I really don't feel like reading through this entire chapter for the hundredth time. Enjoy!**

* * *

_"Through years of personal exploration, I have grown to believe that soulmates are about more than the heart. I believe that a soulmate is any person who enters our lives with greater meaning and purpose. Our souls evolve through loving others. Our lives evolve though the paths we choose."_

-S. Andreasen

* * *

After ending my conversation with Edward the reality of our situation began to hit me like a ton of bricks. _We were really going to do this._ I had spent the entire week thinking about how this evening would transpire. Because, although Edward thought it best that we learn as we go, I knew it wouldn't be that simple. Therefore, unbeknownst to him, I actually took it upon myself to do a little research on our arrangement. And when I say research, I do mean good old-fashioned Google.

My findings did little to extinguish my fears. The first thing I researched was the definition of the term 'Friends with Benefits.' It was pretty self explanatory albeit a tad cold in my opinion.

_**Friends with Benefits**__: An agreement between two people who are both friends and physically attracted to one another to have a sexual relationship. Neither party is considered committed to the other, and both can start dating someone else at any time with prior warning. A friends with benefits arrangement is not considered dating, a relationship or even __casual dating__ by most people who use the term._

I found the first line quite comical and snorted at the idea of Edward being physically attracted to me. I wouldn't say I had low self-esteem but compared to the women he dated in his lifetime, I was a drastic change. I didn't consider myself gorgeous or sexy in fact; I thought I was average at best. All my life I've been called cute. I hated that word. Cute was what you called puppies and babies. I was never considered sexy, beautiful or even pretty. Alice would tell me so many times how beautiful I really was but I knew she was just fulfilling her best friend duties. "Bella, you really don't see yourself clearly," she'd reiterate. Anyway, I digress. The fact of the matter was that Edward didn't find me repulsive and had to be somewhat attracted to me since he was the one to propose this idea in the first place. Also, I couldn't forget the great deal I was getting. Many women would give anything to sleep with my best friend. Believe me I've witnessed the lengths they would go through to get inside his pants and in his pockets. And here I was given the opportunity to have sex with a man who resembled a Greek God—not to mention as many times as I pleased.

The rest of the definition I had no problem with. Edward already stated that we would end our arrangement as soon as one of us met someone we could see ourselves being with forever. If he was ready to have relations with another woman all he had to do was tell me and this would end. This was further reinforced by the last line: _ A friends with benefits arrangement is not considered dating, a relationship or even __casual dating__ by most people who use the term. _Edward and I were best friends. We wouldn't be dating. That would cancel out the entire arrangement. This was strictly sex.

I took a steamy, hot shower to relax my tense muscles and clear my head. Honestly, I couldn't wait to get this night over and done with just to put an end to the anxiety. Once we finally had sex I figured it would be easy from here on out.

I wrapped myself in a thick white cotton towel and was immediately hit with a gust of cold air when I walked into my bedroom. I hastily dried off and searched quickly for some undergarments. While I usually just threw something on it suddenly occurred to me that another pair of eyes would be seeing them. For some odd reason, I wanted to make a good impression on my best friend. I immediately remembered the midnight blue set I picked out on my shopping trip with Alice. It wasn't fancy, silky lingerie. That just wasn't who I was. It was a simple cotton tank top with matching boy shorts. However the blue was striking against my skin tone. I slipped it on and examined myself in the mirror. I liked it. It was simple but sexy. I paused briefly and considered wearing a bra. I had small breasts and often opted out of wearing them. In the end I decided not to; I figured it would make it easier access for Edward anyway. My heart skipped just from that thought alone.

I decided on pair of blue jeans and a fitted gray sweater that I also picked up from the shopping trip. The weather was getting more brisk by the day as we prepared for an early winter. I threw on some comfortable converses and chuckled to myself. Alice would kill me if she saw me putting these on. She hated my converses with a passion.

Glancing at the clock, I realized I still had some time. I wondered what Edward was doing right now. If this situation was doing a number on me, I couldn't imagine what he was thinking. Naturally, I'd given him most of the control of this situation because I trusted him. It made me feel better knowing this was all his idea. He gave the appearance that he was fine with this but that phone call earlier proved otherwise; he was just as nervous as I was.

We planned to meet at his house, which I didn't have a problem with. This wasn't a date. A usual couple would probably go out to dinner, but I was just hanging out with my friend like we usually did-it just so happened a few benefits would be included. I also packed an overnight bag. I couldn't help but smile when he reminded me to bring it during the phone call. Edward assumed I would be staying over and that surprised me, then again, I couldn't imagine him letting me go home afterward. That would be so impersonal and it just wasn't in his nature to do that. I had no problem leaving right after with the men I had relations with prior to us, but that was okay for what it was. I had no attachment to them.

I took one more glance in the mirror noticing my hair had air dried into waves. I grabbed my duffle bag and headed out. Here goes nothing.

***

I stood in front of Edward's door trying to convince myself to ring the bell. It was now approaching ten minutes. _Stop being a coward_, I thought to myself. He's probably thinking I chickened out. I finally took a deep breathe and pressed the bell. My heart decided to speed up at the sound of his footsteps. I briefly contemplated ducking behind one of his bushes. _Stop it._ _Get a hold of yourself. This is Edward._

Before I had another thought the door opened and I was greeted with Mr. October himself. I was met immediately with his chest as his height surpassed me. There he was adorned in a casual blue button up shirt, sleeves folded at his elbows. I noticed three loose buttons at the collar allowing me a peek at his smooth pale skin. My eyes continued downward to his dark wash jeans and usually bare feet. My best friend was a little OCD when it came to shoes and carpet. My eyes finally met his dark green and they mirrored everything I was thinking-fear, excitement & fear. He smiled his contagious grin and wrapped his arms around me.

"I was beginning to think you chickened out," he chuckled in my ear.

"Sorry, I had a little car trouble," I said quickly. I was sure he wouldn't doubt that. He closed the door as I made my way to his living room.

I noticed he had already ordered takeout from our favorite Chinese restaurant and had everything set out.

As I kicked off my shoes and settled on his couch I couldn't help but the notice the tension in the air. Awkward silence. We never had this problem before. Edward sat beside me and began to play with the remote.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to watch a movie tonight or…" He trailed nervously.

Now this was a side of Edward I've never seen. He was always so confident and sure of himself.

"We could do that," I replied. If we wanted this night to go smoothly, I felt it best we didn't stray away from our usual routine.

We managed forced conversation about nothing in particular while eating our takeout. The tension in the air was palpable. Suddenly Edward put his container down with a sigh.

"This doesn't feel right," he said as he roughly ran his fingers through his hair.

"I agree," I said, glad to stop the charade.

"Bella, I want us to be comfortable. Just like all the other nights we have together. Nothing has really changed."

"I know, Edward," I said putting down my container. "But I can't help but feel weird about this entire situation. What we're about to do will change everything."

"It doesn't have to change," he said scooting closer to me. He lifted my chin so that I could meet his eyes. "Bella, this is me. I'm asking for you to trust me."

"I do," I said softly. And I did. There was no one else in the world that I trusted as much as I trusted Edward. I remember years ago when Esme called us soulmates. As young children we scowled at her for making this assumption but then she clarified that best friends could indeed be soulmates. As I got older I finally understood what she meant. Edward was my other half. Without him in my life, I would never feel whole.

After finishing up our meal we both relaxed on the couch and watched a favorite movie of mine, Romeo and Juliet. Edward couldn't understand why I loved it so much but he sat through it with me many times. We cuddled on the couch like we often did, but this time it was different. This time I wouldn't be going home after. I wasn't sure how Edward would proceed, but I was leaving it all up him. He told me to trust him.

The room was dim as most of the lights were turned off and nothing but the TV illuminated us. We lay on the couch, my back to Edward while he rested one arm on my waist and the other behind his head. I wasn't focused on the movie but pretended I was. How could I be when I knew what would follow? Instead my ears were tuned into his breathing as I felt the rise and fall of his chest behind me.

Halfway through the film, the hand on my waist began to trail light circles and dance reminding me of the movements he used when he played the piano. I tried to control my breathing and relax. Edward made no other sound or movement giving the impression he was still into the movie. Soon his finger began to draw imaginary artwork in the same spot, leaving a tingling feeling in it's every wake. My heart rate increased with every motion he made. I couldn't believe my body was reacting to him this way and he was barely touching me.

Suddenly he removed his hand and I couldn't help but miss the feel of him. Before I could process another thought, I felt his cold fingers graze the skin of my waist. I jumped and shivered at the sensation.

"Do you trust me?" he whispered, his warm breathe tickling my neck.

All I could do was nod, not trusting myself to speak.

I felt him move behind and watched him grab the remote to turn off the movie. He wordlessly grabbed my hand and pulled me gently to the direction of the stairs. I followed closely behind him, the sound of our footsteps drowned out by my beating heart.

***

I've frequented Edward's bedroom many times. I considered it our own personal sanctuary. Stacks of CDs and miscellaneous albums lined his walls, most of them classical. He'd compose a few of his own pieces and would often call me up here to listen to them on his large stereo system. Sometimes I'd come up here to lie on his large bed while I read one of my novels. At the same time, he would sit at his desk with his reading glasses on, buried in some office work. Even when he was busy he still wanted my company.

However, today was different. As we walked into the room he let go of my hand and went to turn on his stereo. The soft melody of piano keys floated through the air. I immediately recognized the tune as one of the songs he'd written for me two birthdays ago. It reminded me of a lullaby and I'd often play it to soothe me on stressful days.

He turned to sit on his bed and watched me as I stood awkwardly in the middle of his room. He released an exasperated sigh.

"Bella, this would probably work better if we were closer," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair for the hundredth time that evening. It looked more disheveled than usual as a result of his nervous energy.

_No kidding,_ I thought. _Now if only I could get my feet to move._

"Bella would you please come over here, I won't bite—unless you like that," he chuckled.

_Is he really joking at a time like this?_

I willed my feet to move and slowly made my way toward him. He grabbed my sweaty hands and stared up at me.

"Bella, if at any moment this becomes too uncomfortable for you, promise me you will tell me to stop. Got it?" His expression was very serious.

I felt myself nod.

Realizing that I probably wouldn't be moving much on my own volition tonight because of my own cowardice, he pulled me down on his lap.

"Look at me, Bella."

I timidly brought my eyes to his and felt myself calm. _This was Edward_. His beautiful pools of green stared straight into my lack luster brown. In his eyes, I could see everything; the vulnerable little boy I grew up with, who opened his heart to me at the tender age of six and the man he was today. I also noted the fear, hope and honesty in them. And lastly, I saw trust.

_This was Edward._

Feeling me relax he trailed his thumb on my bottom lip.

"Are we okay?" he asked.

"Yes," I said confidently.

Accepting my reassurance, he drew his face closer to me. Without hesitation, he pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was soft and sweet bringing with it memories of the night we first kissed. Feeling that familiar tingle burning at my lips, I kissed him again growing more confident every second.

_This was Edward, I trust him._

My lips moved against his soft satin with more enthusiasm enjoying the feel of him and the sensations he produced within me.

I was always bold in the bedroom and if Edward wanted me to be myself, I would try. This was my territory­--where I reigned supreme.

With this new epiphany I broke the kiss. Edward gave me a questioning look, his lips now pouty and red.

I stood and gave me him a challenging look as I began to lift my top. Edward stared at me incredulously, surprised at my initiative.

I slid my top off slowly, preparing him. As I shrugged it to the floor I felt his eyes trained on my every move. I then slid off my socks and jeans until I was left wearing nothing but my tank and boy shorts. Edward sat stunned and frozen.

I began to feel nervous at the long silence that followed. Insecure thoughts began to take root because of my current vulnerability. _Was he disappointed? Did he not like my body?_ The confidence that coursed through me only minutes before quickly depleted. I felt my face burning and just knew I probably looked like an awkward tomato standing there. _He was regretting this. I wasn't good enough_. With my new embarrassment, I began to reach for my clothing in an effort to cover myself, but he broke the silence.

"Don't." His smooth voice quavered.

"Edward, you don't have to do this," I said quickly, giving him an easy out. "If you changed your mind, that's fine." I stared at the ground wishing it would just swallow me whole and save me from this humiliation.

Shaking his head, he got up quickly and walked toward me.

He grabbed hold of both my arms. I kept my gaze to the ground.

"Bella, please look at me." I forced my self to meet his eyes. I could never deny him anything.

He stared intently into my eyes. "You are perfect."

The truth in his words caused me to shiver.

I felt his long fingers touch my waist. He dragged them slowly and torturously up my sides and I shivered as he reached the outer edges of my breasts. His eyes transfixed on my body.

He then stepped back. Unsure of his next move, I watched him in anticipation.

He began to unbutton his shirt in quick movements no longer leaving me alone in my exposure.

Within seconds we both stood before one another, dressed in nothing but our undergarments. Edward faced me in nothing but black boxers. My eyes drank in his frame thirstily. I noticed his pale broad chest looked perfectly sculpted and my eyes lingered longer than necessary on his tight stomach. We patiently took each other in as if we were committing every part of the other to memory.

"You're beautiful," Edward said breaking the silence.

"So are you," I said returning his sentiments. And I meant every word.

He stepped closer and stared down at me. I grazed my finger across his jaw tracing his face. This man continued to amaze. His eyes closed at my touch.

Edward lifted his hand to cup my face and brushed his lips lazily against mine. My breath caught at the action. He flicked his tongue out asking for entrance and I took him in already addicted to the reactions he caused within me.

The kiss began to heat up and pretty soon my back was on his bed while Edward hovered above me. His weight rested on his elbows while he peppered my face with light kisses trailing his way down to my neck and collarbones.

Our breathing was heavy and excitement and fear coursed through my veins.

"You ok?" he asked breathlessly. I nodded. "Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head no.

This revelation frightened me. Maybe I expected for this not work out and for us to laugh about it later. But we had crossed the line far enough already and I already craved the feelings my best friend caused within me like an addict.

He pressed his lips onto mine more hungrily. My mind was a haze trying to make sense of what was happening and who it was with. But when he began to rub my breasts lightly, all self-doubt was shot to hell. I let out an embarrassing whimper at his touch.

He trailed his hand down my stomach until he reached the end of my top and then broke the kiss.

"Bella, once we pass this point, there's no turning back," he said tentatively.

"I know."

With that, he lifted my tank top slowly, the cool air hitting my chest.

His eyes stared down at me unabashedly, turning a darker shade of green. I felt myself blush, my face burning and knew my chest probably matched. _Well there you go; my best friend has officially seen my chest._

"Beautiful," he muttered to himself. Before I knew it his head dipped and he began to place teasing kisses on my breasts trailing his tongue lazily around one nipple while his fingers played with the other.

I could feel the moisture pool between my legs. I moaned pressing my fingers into his hair and bucked my hips up toward his seeking friction. Noticing he still hovered above me, I pressed my hands into his waist urging him against me. He finally relented and that's when I felt him.

His length was hard and solid as it pressed against my inner thigh. I pushed my hips against his and felt him groan against my breast. He began to kiss down my stomach circling my belly button with his tongue.

As he stopped at my shorts he looked up at me in question. I reassured him with my eyes. He then ghosted his hand between my legs and my breath hitched at the sensation. His fingers slowly trailed my waistband and I closed my eyes already knowing what he was about to do; trepidation and fear spreading through me as we continued to break boundaries. _This was it._ _He was going to see me_. I felt him tug the soft material down and I lifted my hips to help.

"Bella, open your eyes," he whispered

I timidly fulfilled his request and looked back at him, relaxing once again I was able to gather that by requesting eye contact, he was asking me to stay with him, not to get lost in my fears. He continued to be my anchor, always saving me from myself.

Still holding me with his eyes his hands began to trail my bundle of nerves and my hips jerked up at the sensation which was heightened by the intensity of his eyes on me.

I let out a whimper and squirmed beneath him, enjoying the feel of his teasing touches. Still holding my gaze he plunged his fingers inside of me.

I let out a loud moan throwing my head back against the pillow, the pleasure almost overwhelming. I began to move my hips against his fingers urging him on no longer embarrassed by my reactions, throwing all caution to the wind.

He thrust his fingers into me at an agonizingly slow pace, bringing me closer and closer to edge. Sensing my climax was near, he quickened his pace pressing his thumb against my clit. I screamed out his name as my body shook and wave after wave of pleasure engulfed me.

I felt him withdraw his fingers and I immediately missed the feel of him. My eyes were closed in sweet bliss as I tried to come down from my high. I opened them in surprise to see him hovering above me, looking at me intently.

I had no idea what he was thinking at that moment as I lay there breathing heavily.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me right now," he groaned in a whisper.

Sensing his urgency and wanting him to feel the same pleasure he gave me I reached down and grabbed his erection. He twitched in my hands.

"Bella," he groaned at my touch. My hands tightened around him and the soft material as I began to stroke him.

His warm sweet breath quickened above me.

"Bella…I need you." At those words, I would have given him anything.

I tugged at his waistband and he quickly disposed of them.

And that's when I finally saw him. He was perfect, which I never doubted. I traced against his long and thick length lightly feeling the soft skin, his hips jerked at the action.

He inhaled a shaky breath. "Bella, I need to be sure…once we start I don't think I will be able to stop," he said with hesitance and longing.

His green eyes blazed into mine intensely.

"Edward, I want this." The need in his voice and my desire for him made we want this even more.

With my confirmation, he positioned himself at my entrance and slowly eased himself inside of my heat. We both groaned at the contact. He started to thrust at a slow pace, getting our bodies used to the feel of one another.

My hands involuntarily trailed through his hair as I enjoyed the pleasuring of him inside of me. All insecurity and doubt were forgotten in that moment. I wasn't just having sex with my best friend but a man who could give me the type of pleasure I never dreamed of. His grunts filled the air as I moaned below him. I grasped his hips wanting him deeper. He quickly got the message and thrust harder, connecting his lips to mine, groaning in my mouth. I began to buck beneath him meeting every thrust he gave me, our pace escalating.

Our bodies were slick with sweat, gliding against each other, my nails pressed into his back. I grasped his hips again wanting him closer. It was as if I couldn't get enough of him. He was never close enough. Our rhythm picked up drastically, the creaking of the bed joining our echoes of pleasure.

His hands were everywhere strumming my body as if it were an instrument. His lips followed closely behind every touch. My nails scraped his skin not caring if he felt the pain, needing to feel him.

"Bella…please" he groaned and looked at me desperately. He was close, the sound of his need spurring my orgasm on. He hiked my legs on his shoulder and began to push into me harder and faster. No longer able to hold out, I felt my body convulse around him. He followed quickly after, jerking violently, filling me with everything he had.

Heavy breathing filled the air as Edward tiredly collapsed on my chest, his quick breaths tickling my breast. Moments passed and I was beginning to wonder if he fell asleep until finally he pulled out and lay beside me. He drew me close to his chest, covering us both with his sheets.

"You ok?" he asked tiredly.

I nodded wearily against his chin.

The stress of the day coupled with our eventful evening had exhausted me. I let myself enjoy the feeling of now and succumbed to sleep, deciding to worry about the aftermath later.

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**Review or I will make Edward pee the bed. :-p**


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